Isolation, mental health and quarantine

What this means for a health and wellness practioner.

I’m 3 weeks into this quarantine. I am a Pilates instructor and a massage therapist. I work in small groups and one on one with clients. I come into contact with 10 to 15 people daily in my job. Most of the time I am in these people’s personal spaces. For my Pilates clients, I am often using touch as a cue to get them to obtain better alignment or to find the right muscle to work. In my massage appointments, my hands are used for therapy. I often have to touch my clients to assess their muscle tone, to feel for adhesions or restrictions in movement. I use my hands as a tool in my business every day….every day for about 25 to 30 hours each week. Touch is a huge part of human connection, a necessary part of our lives and for me, it’s also part of my job.

Most of us in this career come into this work because we want to help people and we love what we do. It’s not a giant moneymaker that is for sure. If you know someone who works in the health and wellness field they are here because they have been called. It is a love and a calling.

I am also by nature an extrovert. When I am done with work, it’s usually a walk and meet up with a friend for happy hour or invite someone to the house for dinner and conversation.

It’s been 3 weeks. I have not seen my clients, I have not performed any massages. I have not seen friends for dinner. I walk alone on the bluff and steer a good 6 feet away from the seniors walking towards me, passing them by with a gentle smile and a hello. From human connections and touch to almost nothing. I am missing human touch and personal connection. It was part of my job and my life.

I have taken some of my Pilates appointments online. I have uploaded videos to my Youtube channel and Instagram. I try to stay connected to my clientele and my audience and though I think in some ways this quarantine has pushed me to do more with technology, it is not a solution to the job I have.

Technology cannot take the place of human contact. Even if you Zoom your fiends for cocktail hour, text them daily or get online to join a virtual class, it does not take the place of being there in person.

It is a band-aid for a giant cut and it will help but it will not cure.

At first, it might have seemed like a bit of a vacation. I started doing projects around the house, spring cleaning, organizing. I even finally cleaned out my email inbox. The extra time was nice….at first.

But let’s face it, after 3 weeks, I really don’t care about how many emails are in my inbox or how much stuff I have to clean out of my basement and take to the dump, which by the way is closed. For me, my colleagues and those in the salon and food industry, we have all been closed down. Our jobs, the things we do because we love to do them are done. We are told to stop. We are told to stop because we come too close.

I know what this virus is. It’s spread by human contact, by droplets they say. Those droplets can land on someone else up to six feet away. Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone six feet away? It’s weird. We don’t normally stand that far from people when talking or interacting. Our human energy field is drawn to others and though I don’t like a close talker, I am just as uncomfortable with those that pull away. There is fear now of being too close. Could I contract something? Will I infect someone? Stay away, not too close.

This is changing the landscape in ways we still have yet to determine. What is this doing to our human spirit?

I spoke with a friend who is a maker and an artist. He works alone and creates and builds often alone. For him, everything continues. I asked him, what he would feel like if he was told he had to stop creating and to stop making. He paused then said, “I guess I would get pretty depressed.” “Exactly,” I said.

My mother who lost her husband of 50 years nearly two years ago, was just starting to emerge from her grief. She started volunteering at a book store and tutoring a young student. She was making new friends and going to yoga class. She was finding a new rhythm in her life, finding purpose again. She is now isolated at home and says she is feeling the weight of her grief all over again.

Some people have jobs that don’t involve a lot of face to face interaction. These people have been forced to stay at home and work, but their jobs continue. They still get to feel useful.

For me, I can’t do the thing I love, the career I am called to do. I am not the only one. There are so many of us out there in this same predicament. We are all struggling in ways that are more than just financial.

This virus is affecting more than just our health.

On the other side, I have also observed an incredible amount of kindness and giving that I have not seen in many years. This is the thing that keeps me going and also knowing there is an end to this. We know deep down that in time the restaurants will be packed again with people laughing, smiling, talking, maybe even close talking. There will be hugs, kids will be wrestling in parks and the playgrounds will be open again. The school bells will ring and we‘ll hear kids laughing and screaming as they race out of school. And I again will return to my routine and to my clients. It will happen, we know this.

But, when the end comes, we will forever be changed. And I wonder how we will emerge from this? How will I emerge? What will we take away?