2020 Recap — What I have learned
One woman’s perspective in the year of unknowns.
So many of us are looking forward to 2021, maybe because 2020 was so awful and, how could things get worse?
But the end of the year as always brings much reflection, this year especially. It’s been a micro to macro year. Ironically, a small tiny virus has changed a whole entire globe. The year of 2020 brought a lot of “global” revelations, and for all of us, there have been losses the world will never see. Most years I take this time, after the solstice and post Christmas to reflect and also to look forward, to plan, to learn and hopefully to be better, but this year…especially.
So here are my top 6 things I have learned in 2020.
1. Trust in that which is meant to show up for you will: In the beginning of April when things really started locking down. I had to close my business. I didn’t know how I would survive like most people. How would I pay the bills? How long was thing going to last? Will people return after a long hiatus? I am the sole practitioner of a small health and wellness studio. I am fortunate to have a close family and knew that I would not be “out on the streets,” if things really went south, but to my surprise and a little shock, many of my clients continued to pay or rather “donate” to my business. It was gracious and unexpected. I am humbled by their gratitude and I believe in “paying it forward.” So, when I re-opened my business I offered clients who had also suffered a loss to pay what they could. My business was able to stay afloat and I was able to help others. This kind of paying it forward I saw in many small business around town. Personal connections, family, and community all came together.
2. True friends show up even in social distancing: I lost many friends to COVID. Actually, no one I know personally has died from it, but many of my friends have left my stratosphere. There were some friends that just went into hiding, others that gently drifted off, some because of political beliefs chose to end contact all together. However, I found many friends reach out, via text, zoom or phone calls; each of us grasping for each other thus sealing our fates in this crazy year together. I am a social person and it’s hard for me when I am used to connecting personally with people. This last year has been so limited. I am thankful for those people who reached out no matter the method. For those friends and family that already lived far away, we connected even more with Zoom than usual. These bonds over shared experiences or general concern, compassion for each other are things that held up.
3. Sometimes home is the best place to be: I have always loved my home, but when you work from home and are a single mom of two, getting out is like a vacation, even if it is to the grocery store. I re-embraced my nest. I did some home projects and remodeling. I also updated my boys rooms’ to something more suitable and fun for them to “social distance” in to feel connected to their friends even if it was more screen time. I cooked more, I baked more, I definitely ate more, but I realized that my home is comfortable and safe. It keeps my little family happy and serves all of our needs perfectly. We miss the big dinner, birthday and slumber parties, but we are able to find comfort in each other in our home.
4. Mindfulness, exercise, fresh air and laughter do a lot of good: In the midst of the quarantine I spent a lot of time outside walking…hours in fact…because what else was there to do? I spent time reading, writing, thinking, meditating. There was so much “pause: There was so much less doing, and so much more feeling. The sun or wind on my face, the crunch of the earth beneath my feet and sometimes nothing, silence. I was happy to receive it. I listen more now, not just to the elements, but to myself. I was able to connect more and feel my way more through things. There were so many things out of my control, I had only one option and that was to control my micro environment, which meant my state of being. In that sense, I could always be exactly where I needed.
5. I need less than I thought: I am not sure how to describe this feeling of less. Less is a matter of mass, which can include material things, people, things to do, places to go, stuff to have, conversations to engage in. Less is all of it, just less of everything. And when you have less of everything, you have more quality in the things you have. I found that I didn’t need to be “doing” as much as I thought I did. I could do “less” and yet have more. I could focus my time on certain projects or people. I could pause and do nothing for the sheer enjoyment of space. I would have more energy to do what I loved if I didn’t have so much filling my time. Less was the way to having more in my life.
6. Acceptance is the only way to get through it: — Political beliefs aside….there are many things I would have liked to have seen happen in this country in 2020. Even those people and friends that I consider like-minded…we struggled to find common ground. This was a year of division in many ways. However, I believe strongly in acceptance. I cannot change the past, nor does it do you any good to point fingers. All we can do is accept where we are and have compassion for each other. Know that most people truly want the same things and those are to have a roof over our heads, food on the table and someone special to love. Letting go of grudges and judgement IS the only way to freedom. That freedom isn’t the “star spangled banner” that freedom is inside us. The most liberated spiritual people on this earth are sometimes the people who have struggled the most. If we truly accept, then there is no isolation.
